Friday, January 18, 2013

Gettin' a Little Personal...

Hey lovelies!

So last night I went to the Luke bryan concert and it was AWESOME! I'll have pictures of that for you next week...

But today, I wanted to sit down and get a little personal.

Here is a little sense of where I have come from before this point... (If you atually look back at these, kudos to you!)
June 2010
August 2010
February 2011
May 2011
May 2011-2
July 2011
October 2011
April 2012
May 2012


Everyone has a past. Whether you are proud of that past or would like to leave it behind, it still exists no matter what, and that's just the way life goes. And no matter what, that past is always a part of who you are at this very moment. BUT, what I've learned is just because that past has helped shaped you, doesn't mean that it is you.

You are not your past.

This thought has been sticking with me lately. Anyone who knows me or has been reading this blog knows that part of my life and what it has meant for me throughout the very defining years of my college career.

There are only 3 and a half months left of this crazy ride and honestly, it's a little daunting. College was the best decision I ever made. It showed me that I could be independent and that, even though, I allowed myself to get wrapped up in some not-so-great choices, here I am. And it's all been worth it.

But what comes next?

College got me out of place that wasn't good for me. 3 and half years ago, my father and his alcohol abuse controlled every step I took and every thought I had. And now here I am. Something I haven't shared here yet, is this past December, I decided it was time to take that final step and cut my dad out of my life. I have adjusted to the mind set that I don't have a father. Was it hard? Yep. But it was the most freeing thing I have ever done. One month later.... and it's still okay.

Point is, my past made me who I am today. But it is not me.

I am not my father's shortcomings.
I am not my mom's mistakes.
I am not a product of a broken home.

I am a girl who snorts when she laughs too hard.
I am a girl who talks to her dog like she's a kid.
I talk in my sleep, and cry during Harry Potter movies.
I have clothes all over my bedroom floor, and own more pairs of flip flops than I do actual shoes.

When you step away from your "past" it's your choice to let it follow you or to make it memory.
You can let it overtake you or you can cast it aside and let it make you a better person. It is that fight and that choice that sets you apart from the "victims" and makes you a "survivor."

I've written quite a few posts similar to this, but what makes this post any different?

The girl sitting here has self-esteem and loves herself.
She laughs and actually means it.
She is single because she doesn't need to be in a relationship with some crap guy because the void she was trying to fill isn't there anymore. She is fine with being with herself, until the option comes along to choose who will complement her life, rather than who she will settle for.
She is 3 months away from a college degree-- the first in her family.
She went from being dependent on her friends and her boyfriend to being completely self-sufficient.
She looks in the mirror and likes what she sees.
She is beautiful.

Your past does not make you any better or any less than anyone else. It's what you choose to do with it that makes you the person you are. My past is not worse than yours and I have not lived a harder life than any of you. A life is just a life, but it's what you do with it that separates you from everyone else.

I am not my past. I am my future.

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