Thursday, March 3, 2011

Spring Break, Puppy, & more!

It's that time of year again. Yep, spring break!!!!
Oh how I am looking forward to a week of no class. Just saying.
Instead of going to visit my parents this time around, I am going to good ol' Portland, Indiana to visit my mom's side of the family. I really haven't spent any time with them since last Christmas so I'm excited to see my grandma and the kids.
Although I'm dissapointed in the lack of weight loss I wanted to acheive before I saw them again, I will be working on it over break and then fighting it head on once I get back to campus (and our free student gym).
Our puppy Prudence is going to the vet for the first time tomorrow morning. It's weird being the one to have this responsiblity. I've watched many in my family handle their dogs, now it's me. Weird, I'm an adult moment. She has to get her second booster and then she gets to go on her first adventure with me to Portland!
I'll miss Michael but honestly I think we need a little time apart after seeing each other every single day since he has moved here.
One thing that hit me is I have two months left of being a sophomore in college. Then I will be a friggin' junior. This is going too fast.
Since studying in Europe this summer fell through, I'm planning on taking a summer course to get ahead on my credits. With two majors and a minor that will definitley be helpful.
Also, I'm considering starting another blog for just weight loss stuff. I'll decide when I get back so I'll let you know.
Have a great upcoming week everyone =]

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Me, Myself, & I

I've been doing a lot of thinking. Lately, I've been pretty much depressed. I really hate the feeling of depression. I like to be spunky and happy and full of sunshine. But since I stepped on the scale a week or so ago, I've just been dark and gloomy.
The other day I read this article our publications office wrote on body image [couldn't come at a perfect time huh?] And it said something about how we all want to be the image of ourselves that we have in our mind. That is beyond true. I definitely see myself completely different in my mind. Then when I step on the scale or look in the mirror, I don't see that girl and it depresses me.
I got to thinking. We all see ourselves a certain way. We all change to fit a certain mode whether that be skinny or smart or whatever the word may be. But really, we should be focusing on the person WE will be happy with. If you're happy at 200 pounds, or at 130, or at 105 then awesome.
It's not the number on the scale that defines me. I define me. Somehow I lost that perspective. And here I am, depressed because I'm going home to family I haven't seen in awhile bigger than I was the last time they saw me. They aren't going to love me any less and somehow I forgot that.
I guess my point is instead of changing, I should strive to be the best version of myself. Not just in health, but in all aspects of my life.
This person I am now, is not the best version of Melissa. And I have been blessed with the ability to change that and be the best I can possibly be.
This isn't about being my ideal weight, or having top grades, or any of that. It's about being happy with who I am and embracing that. There is only one of me, and if I keep tearing her down the way that I have been, she isn't going to shine like she should.
I need to let her shine. This involves living to the best of my capabilities. Studying harder, eating better, working out, taking care of the mold I call myself.
Because if I can't take care of her, who will?