Thursday, February 9, 2012

Head in the Clouds

Lately, I feel like I've been a little out of it. I mean, I'm concentrated on school and my weight loss and all that, which is going well by the way, BUT I feel like my head is somewhere else.
I'll admit, I'm a bit of a dreamer. I wouldn't be in college if I wasn't because I would have just accepted that life I left in St. Louis. I've always dreamed big things, mostly because it fills the hard days with hope for the good ones.
For some reason, although I don't really know where I'll be a year from now, I have the picture in my head of going to grad school, living in my own apartment, meeting some adorably geeky guy, and BAM, life.
Did I mention I'm a hopeless romantic too?
My upcoming senior year makes me feel like I'm in high school all over again except the stakes are higher. When I graduate with my writing degree, I get a chance at that fresh start again. I can go wherever and do whatever I want with my life. It's complete FREEDOM. And as scary as freedom and the real world can sometimes be, I feel completely liberated.
But the question is, what to do?
At this point, where I'm going after I graduate with my bachelor's is up in the air. I've thought about taking a year off to just focus on myself for awhile and spend time with family before enrolling in graduate school in 2014 for my Master's. I've thought about going straight into Graduate school to get my Master's in Writing or Library Science or ANYTHING, really. Go figure I pick a bachelor's degree that leaves so many possibilities open for a Master's. I've thought of going to school anywhere from Muncie, IN, St. Louis, Chicago, Indy, even allll the way to New York. Small town, big city, I can go anywhere.
I have been all over the place with what I truly want to do after I graduate and it's frightening and exciting all at the same time.
Who knows where I'll be a year from now. All I do know, is I want to be happy.
And that's not too far-fetched of a dream, right?

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Bottle Up That Sunshine, Dance in the Rain

So, my last post was really... angry. I blame it on the horrible day I was having.
Yes, my money situation is bad. But if anything, I've learned that money isn't everything. Plus, it could be a lot worse. This crunch that I'm in is temporary and I know I'll survive it and there will be better days. And although I get bitter about some of my friends not really being there, I have to be grateful for the few that ARE there. It's hard times like these when you learn who your real friends are, and I am definitely seeing who mine are. And it's funny how the ones who are farthest in distant and the ones I haven't known the longest are the ones here. It really shows that no matter how far away or how long you've known someone, it's their actions that define them as a true friend.
Besides money, good things HAVE been happening. My weight loss is in full swing now and it's going well. I added a ticker to my side margin for anyone who wants to see how much I've lost and such. Also, I do still have my weight loss blog which I love doing. I love having a blog completely dedicated to my weight. It's motivating, really. So if anyone wants to check that out the link is in its own blog entry.
Also, school is going well despite stress. I'm only three weeks in but I'm staying on top of everything and that is an accomplishment. I'm sure my grades will reflect it.
As far as my other, smaller goals, I have kept my word and stuck to those. So really, disregarding my messy financial situation, life really isn't all that bad.
It's these little things, these little rays of sunshine, that I need to hold on to and bottle up. It's those things that are going to get me through the rough days.The storm will pass, and until then I need to learn to dance in it and take it day by day.
No one ever said life was easy, and it's times like these that just make me stronger. One day I am going to look back on these days and be grateful for them because they made me stronger.
I will get through the storm, but until them I'm going to bottle up that sunshine and dance through each day.