Thursday, May 5, 2011

Endings & Beginnings and the Road to a Destination

So, my Sophomore year is over. Thankfully. This was a tough year for me. And I'll admit, I hit a new low that I swore I'd never hit again.

A lot went wrong this year and I made a lot of dumb decisions. I guess this depressed me because I stopped being myself. I let myself forget that I am young and dumb decisions is what I should be making so I can learn from them. And boy did I make a lot of them.

My grades suffered and I hate to say this, but I didn't earn the gpa I needed to keep my scholarship. For awhile I considered withdrawing from UE and taking a year off. But to be honest, UE was my dream school and college was everything to me throughout middle school and high school. So I'm going to take out another loan to help pay for my last two years and I WILL finish. I will earn my two degrees and walk across that stage in 2013. No. Matter. What.

I won't deny that I feel defeated but that's life. And things like this happen for a reason and somehow I forgot that.

Somehow, I'll find myself again and this summer may be just what I need.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Where I Am Now

So, instead of saying life sucks, I guess I'll just talk about where it is at this point in time.
Michael & I pretty much have a failed relationship. Funny how I realize this AFTER I decide to stay here with him for the summer. So now I'm stuck. He still owes me thousands of dollars and I still have a puppy I refuse to give back to the humane society whom I need to find a home for along with myself.

I want a place of my own since dorm housing doesn't allow animals. But I doubt I could pay for it on my own, even if I can manage to get a part-time job. I wanted my best friend to get a place with me but she has withdrawn from school and is moving back out. And it turns out I really don't have any other friends close enough or willing to get a place with me.
I have like no relationship with my dorm roommate anymore and I''m pretty sure she doesn't even like me that much now. How did that happen, you may wonder? Well, Melissa decided staying at the apartment was better than staying in the dorm, therefore stopped seeing her roommate or spending any time with her. So now instead of having my roommate/close friend, I have a roommate who doesn't really like me anymore. Yaaay.

I am in debt and living paycheck to paycheck. I used to have savings and could afford trips to see family. I haven't seen them since Thanksgiving. All because stupid Melissa put everything into a guy who turned out to be someone else.

Smart decision, Mel.

So here I am faced with a failing relationship (again) and with tough decisions in a hole. Yippee. That's my life.