Sunday, January 9, 2011

The Bittersweet Ups and Downs of Second Semester

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." ~Winston Churchill

Well, my second semester of my sophomore year of college starts tomorrow and I can't help but feel bittersweet about the whole thing. I mean, I have a lot to be excited about. I'm starting my new major and continuing writing and I have some pretty interesting classes. Plus, it's my last semester of Spanish ever.

However, I didn't do so well last semester. My grades were definitely not what I expected nor did they reflect my best effort. In other words, I'm a bit discouraged. Also, four of my friends are studying abroad this semester and I'm kinda feeling the "I miss them" blues.

I can remember back in high school and all the years before that. I used to be so eager to learn and write and go above and beyond. Somewhere I lost that. I'm not excited to go to class [or motivated] and I haven't written or even read anything on my own as often as I used to. It's a little disheartening.

But with a scholarship to keep up with and money stresses, the pressure just takes away from the eagerness. I really miss being excited about something. And I miss having money to go out to eat and shop with my friends.

It's been a stressful last few months and I'm trying to stay positive about all of it but the question haunting me about this semester is: Is it going to get better or worse?

I want to be confident in things getting better but with the way things have been it's so easy to lose that confidence. My footing is very unstable where I am right now. A not-so-great gpa and a not-so-full bank account with expenses knocking at my door. Michael has yet to find a stable job since the Applebees problem and all of this rolled into one clump can really weigh on a person. I cna either let it take me down or fight it and keep my head up. It's obvious which is the better choice.

So, lets hope this semester is a turn around from the last.

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