Thursday, February 18, 2010

Up to MY Standards:Moving On

Okay, so I've made a decision for myself. (Yay me!)
I'm not "looking" for anyone to date. NO ONE. Yup that's right.
See, the whole boyfriend thing is great and I want that but right now I feel like I don't need that. I need to be single to get to know this fantastic girl named Melissa again ;)
And actually, I'm pretty content being single right now. It's nice to just have me, myself, and I to worry about. Plus I get to dedicate more of my time to my friends and family who always appreciate that.
So my motto now is "Whatever happens happens"
I'm not going to look for anything. I want it to find me because the things that find you are soo much better. When you force it to happen, it loses its sincerity. Sincerity is good. We like sincerity.
Plus there's a lot of things I've wanted to do that I always pushed back or something else took more precedent.
I want to get a gpa above a 3.3. Last semester I got a 2.7 which isn't bad but it's not high enough to keep the scholarship that has me here nor is it representative of what I'm actually capable of.
I want to keep the poisonous people out of my life. But since Steven, I think I've got that covered. I'm definitely a better judge of character now. I swear, him walking away was the best thing that ever happened to me. So I'll rephrase my sentence, I want to keep any form of poison out of my life.
I want to get my driver's license FINALLY! Oh my god I have a deep desire for it. Getting that piece of plastic will make my entire life. I'm going home for spring break and I'm going to MAKE my sad excuse of father teach me to drive and take me for that test. I'm not leaving with out it.
I want to finally lose all the weight I've wanted to lose for years. I'm not as heavy as I used to be and I don't see myself as fat but I don't see myself as up to my own standards. So yes, I'm going to develop an actual plan and I'm going to fight this. I wanna be able to feel good in all those cute summer clothes and feel confident enough to buy a *gasp* bikini.
Those are the main goals I'm tackling now. I have more but those can wait until I get these under my belt.
I feel very empowered. Like seriously. I like that I'm starting to live life by MY standards. So, THIS is what it feels like to let go and move one. Man, I could get used to this. =)

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