My first blog, hmmm where do I even begin?
Well, how about the reason I started this. First off, I love to write and although I've always posted blogs on Myspace and "notes" on Facebook, I needed something more...professional(?). I've always used writing as a release. And lately, I feel like I've lost touch with this passion I had for it. College homework can do that, I guess. I want to revive my passion and so much has been going on in my life it's unbelieveable.
I feel like I'm reinventing myself. For 19 years I was under strict control of my abusive, alcoholic father. Then for two years, I was an army fiance. I guess you can say I haven't had much luck with men.
Anyway, now its just plain ol' me. No one is holding me back anymore so what do I do now?
I can be whoever I want.
I've been through a lot in my life. Some of it amounted to nothing, but in the end I see it's all amounted to the person I am now so that must be worth it.
I've been hit and called names by my father, watched him do it to my mom, learned what a true friend is; I've fallen in love and had to force myself to fall out of it; I've been through a deployment and ended up no where; I've had to watch the person I loved most walk right out of my life without looking back; I've had to hear stories of this person I gave everything to and yet here I stand without him as he gets married and starts a family after only a month; I've been cheated on and lied to and I've made plans only to have to start from scratch; and I've lost faith in a lot.
I could go on and on. In the end I'm me. I'm here and I'm strong and I regret nothing.
Nothing at all.
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