In Memory

"He spake well who said graves are the footprints of angels." ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Today marks 4 years since my grandma passed away. It also marks the first time I'm not spending the anniversary with my grandpa. I guess it's hitting me kind of hard. I hate not being there on days I should be there for.

My grandma and I were really close. Hell, I was at her and my grandpa's house everyday practically when I was younger. I can remember some good summers. Like Grandma braiding my hair into piggytails to keep it out of my eyes, or her trying to fit into my Little Mermaid swimming pool with me and my brother, her getting a puppy just because I couldn't have one, always having a camera in my face because she loved taking pictures (hence where I got it from), or her just always stressing the importance of being there for family no matter how many mistakes they make. She always wanted to keep our family close. I remember one time she took me out shopping and I thought she was stealing earrings but she just had an itch under her shirt. We laughed for hours. Her love of wolves and angels is still all over the house. She loved old country music and loved to tell me how pretty of a girl I was and how she would need to chase off the boys. She loved all my friends and always wanted me to get as much time with them as I could. She stresses me being true to myself and getting into college. Well here I am.... God I miss her.

I just hope I'm making her proud, ya know.

Death is such a sensitive subject for me. I hate knowing that I can lose people I love forever. I hate it. I hate knowing that this life that I love so much is gonna end some day. It scares me that I won't live it right.

I hate that my grandma missed my graduation or me getting into college because these are things that were as important to her as they were to me. She was never selfish. Never. I got a lot about life from her and I don't ever take that for granted.

Days like these make me strive to be the best person I can everyday and enjoy my life to the fullest because you never know when it's gonna be over. I want to be close to my family and friends and love with all my heart and no fear because that's what my grandma would have wanted.

So, in memory of my grandma, I love you and you're always in my heart and on my mind. I know you are watching over me and I miss you more then you could ever know.

R.I.P