Saturday, July 17, 2010

Conquer and Learn

"He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

So, I find it funny I write more here than I do in my actual journal....man I should change that.

Anyway, just a quick update on life for anyone who actually reads this. Summer is still going well. I can't believe it's halfway over. It means before I know it, I'll be back sitting in my dorm, chatting with Kenz and procrastinating on homework. (Ah the joys of college life lol) I'm really excited for my birthday coming up. I'm having a party, which I've never been allowed to do and all my closest friends and Michael will be there. It's gonna be a blast. I really can't believe I only have like two more weeks left of being a "-teen". Craziness!

Kenzie and Haleigh drove up last week and we all hung out and had a blast. I've missed them since school let out., no doubt. I also got to see Christine for a few hours. It was great. Reminded me what great friends I do have and how much fun life can be.

Anyone who is friends with me on Facebook knows Michael and I went through a bad time. We broke up for a little while and I really thought it was going to be over because one thing after another kept happening. I want to make it clear, that we are not going into an on-off pattern. It's on for now and things are building back up to normal. I was reminded how much work relationships are. No relationship is easy no matter how much love there is and no matter how compatible a couple may be. That's just how it is. Hopefully that lesson will allow us to stay on track and keep working day by day.

There will be no apartment in August like I've talked about in previous posts. Michael isn't moving to Evansville in August like planned. So yes, the long distance relationship will continue, probably for another few months. I'm not exactly happy, but it's for a good reason. Michael has decided to enter a program (It's basically college except shorter) where he will be training to be a police officer. He's moving on to the campus and will begin classes and work as a secruity guard. By the end of the program he will have a certificate and be a liscened secruity guard. The program will take anywhere between two-six months. Michael is determined to finish as soon as possible. He's then going to enroll in the police academy in Evansville and that's when he will be moving. Then he'll complete his training and in two years chould be a police officer. I'm actually quite proud of this decision. Law Enforcement is a ver respectable career field and pays pretty well. So I'm really proud of him.

Slowly, as the summer progresses I'm getting my life to be more of what I want it to be. No more drama and no more wasting time on the past and the what could have been or should have been. I realized that when life changes as drastically as mine did, it takes awhle to adjust and get a balance back. I made lots of mistakes but I'm slowly fixing them and avoiding new ones. I need to rely on MYSELF and trust myself to live this life right. Trusting myself will allow me to, as Emerson mentioned, conquer a fear each day and learn along the way.

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