A New Thought For a Better Change

"If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it." ~Mary Englebreit

So, I haven't written in awhile but there has been a reason for that. I've had so much stuff going on and I knew if I wrote I would just sit here and complain about everything so I didn't wanna do that. Complaining gets you no where.

Anyway, I guess I should update on everything that's been going on. My mom took my brother and left my dad. She went to Indiana. It was so easy to be angry at her because I came back to Missouri and then they left without even trying to see me and they have had these plans for months apparently. I was mad and felt abandoned that I can't see my own mother and brother for lord knows how long. They may come back, they may not. Who knows. It's weird because the three of us always stuck together and now I'm an odd ball out. That didn't help how angry I was. But I neglected to think that this is a chnage good for THEM. I already left and moved on. I already cut my ties. Now it's there chance. I should probably be proud of my mom for getting that far. Do I think it's permenant? I don't know. She'll get a break from dad and then think it's all better and go back. I don't think my mom will permenantly ever leave dad until James is graduated and moves in with me as the supposed plan says. But like I said, who knows?

I've been missing my friends a lot lately too. And not just my friends that I talk to everyday but ones that I don't talk to anymore or barely talk to. It's hard to forget about good times and then know that there won't be anymore with those people. It sucks but oh well. That's life. The people in my life now are the ones meant to be there.

My weight has been another thing. Even though I've lost almost ten pounds since I've been on summer break, I still hate the body I see in the mirror. And Michael hates it because like the great man he is, he just thinks I'm beautiful no matter what. But his opinion only matter so much. It's my opinion of myself that matters and I don't have the opinion I want.

And then things with Michael went through a rough patch and we're just now coming out of it thank god and hopefully we keep coming out of it. I think a lot of it came from me being so depressed about everything else and pushing him away. I just like to deal with things myself and he was there trying to help when I didn't want him to, but I finally realized that he was the one person I did need and after everything he still is. So yeah, hopefully we're coming out of this rough patch.

But now to refer to my quote. I need to start looking at the things I want changed and change them and change my way of thinking for the things I can't change. I'm in charge of my own happiness and dwelling on the past and the things I can't change which is why this quote is one of my favorite quotes.