Thursday, August 19, 2010

From 19 to 20, From Melissa to Lissa, A Summer of Growing Up

"We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves." ~May Lamberton Becker

In two days, my summer is over and my sophomore year of college begins. It's weird. A year ago, I was scared being a freshman in college would never happen now, I'm a sophomore and life as an adult is seeming to kick in real fast. I figured I needed to write this blog now because within these next two days I'm going to be too preoccupied with packing and saying temporary goodbyes.

It's weird how much you can learn in a summer. I know I did. It's weird to take in the last three and a half months and see where I am now. I can truly say that I took away a lot from this summer. I lost and I gained and I lived. And really, that's the best way I could have spent my summer. The lessons I've learned and the experiences I've had will all go back with me to Evansville. My time is Foley, MO was definitely well spent.

Four months ago, my neice most likely didn't know who I was. My sister knew I was her sister of course but she didn't know ME, nor did I really know HER. That was something I always hated. It was always a fear that my neice was going to grow up, not knowing who I was. I was never meant to be the distant aunt. I was never meant to be a distant anything. I like giving everyone in my family a part in my life and I like to be a part of theirs. Before this summer, I was distant, now I'm a part.

Kelli and Bob let me live with them for the summer because I needed a place to go. A place to call home for a summer. I'll admit, at the beginning of the summer, I felt so out of place and like a burden on them. Then my mom and brother left and I was lost. It wasn't easy at first, but you never learn from easy things. I came with the intention of getting my driver's license. That didn't happen which was a little discouraging at first, but I've got plan for when I go back to get it.

I'm not leaving with a driver's license, but I'm leaving with something better:

A sister who's favorite color is pink; who dances no matter how crazy she looks; who bleeds red (Cardinals!); who can crack me up and keep me laughing for hours; who is always there for late night chats; who loves her family more than anything; who is more like me than I ever would have thought.

A neice who is the most perfect little girl I have ever met; who is smarter than any 3 year old; loves Dora the Explorer; can never be parted from her red "manket"; loves kisses and hugs; can swing for hours; dances to party in the usa like it was written just for her; loves to be read a book every night; thinks sticking her butt in the sprinkler is the funniest thing in the world; has definitely stolen my heart this summer.

A brother in law who loves his fishing; thinks shotgunning a beer makes him a badass (lol); provides for his family the best he can; can never miss The Deadliest Catch and if he's watching it, you better shut up; believes in great first impressions; who is definitely the big brother I always thought I would have.

A nephew who is completely hilarious; who has such a gentle heart even if he doesn't show it under his preteenagehood manly exterior; loves to play video games but loves it more when you play with him; is pretty darn smart; is going to grow up to be a pretty awesome guy and is the best nephew I could have.

In part from just learning about my family, I learned about myself as well. I learned that:

~being yourself is the best possible way to have more true friends.
~my friends in high school gave me some really good memories but they have moved on and so have I and that's how life intended. They'll always be there for that small chat and reminiscing though.
~the only person you can truly rely on is yourself.
~that no matter how many mistakes anyone in my family has made, they can still come back from it and show you they can be a changed person.
~little brothers never stay little brothers. They get buff and grow taller and become big little brothers. =P
~Family is family and they will always be there when you need them.
~life is short so live it right.

That's only a few things...I could write forever and ever and think of so much stuff I've learned this summer.

I'm going back to school 20 years old and a new perspective on life. I've become Aunt Lissa to beautiful little girl and Lis to a totally awesome sister I'm happy I got to know. That is the best thing that could have happened in a summer.

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