"How long does getting thin take?" ~Winnie the Pooh
My thoughts exactly.
Can I just tell you a little secret? BEING ON A DIET SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhh, that's better. Oh, wait...you already knew that? Well, darn.
Actually, I'm not on a diet. I'm on this thing called "don't you dare eat that cookie or you will die!!!" or "eating so many vegetables you look green."
Maybe I'm overexaggerating. Point is, I've been trying to change my eating habits because there is this certain bikini I want to look amazing in next summer (along with other reasons) and I can't do it unless I put myself through this miserable thing called a diet.
I hate that word. I'm not on a plan made up by some bogus doctor or fame hungry celebrity. I'm on the old fashioned plan of no junk, more fruits, more veggies, and regular exercise. Shouldn't be so hard right?
Well it is when you're on a college campus that consists of junk food central and people eating junk food all around you. It makes abstaining from junk food a weeeee bit hard. And tonight was just one of those nights so I decided a blog of venting of my diet frustrations was a good distraction.
Moral of the story: Diets suck. I really want some ice cream but can't have it. The end.
(side note: I wonder if Pooh bear ever found an answer to his question because I would sure like to know.)
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Many Meanings, One Word: Distance
"Insert here."
As you may have noticed, there is no quote for this entry for a very good reason. The topic is distance.
I searched every credible quote website I know of to find a quote for this and none of them fit because distance is something that everyone views or experiences differently. An army wife is going to experience a different sort of distance than a parent whose child has left for college. But in the end, it's still distance.
As much as I may not like it, distance plays a very big role in my life and to be honest, I can be quite resentful against it. But overall, who isn't? Distance is never a word anyone wants to hear. It means being away from someone or a whole group of someones for a period of time; It means not seeing someone on an every day, every week, and sometimes every month basis; It means expensive plane tickets and road trips that can not always be afforded; It means loneliness and ache for that person; It means worry when you can't always hear from that person; Distance is....well it's distance and it's something everyone experiences at least once n their life.
As a college student, I'm distant from all of my family, some friends, and my boyfriend. Phone calls, texts, mail, Internet, webcam, and occasional visits are what keep us in touch. Somedays it's hell. The miss becomes a lot when you're going through a hard time or some everyday thing reminds me of a certain someone. It can be hard.
But, what gets me through it is that one feeling you get when you first see that person again. I LOVE that feeling and as much as I hate distance, that feeling makes it seem minuscule the whole time I'm in the prescence of a friend, or family member, or my boyfriend. The longer the wait, the greater the feeling.
When I was an army girlfriend and hadn't seen my ex for months at a time, those two week intervals were what made my world turn. It's such a great feeling especially after you spend months worrying and aching. I have a lot of military associated friends and family who can relate to this.
Distance is hard. In relationships and friendships, sometimes it can result in the end of it. In families, it can mean a complete loss of touch. Distance causes pain and anger. It can cause depression and sadness. It's hardest when the one thing in the world you want is to see someone but you know you can't. This is distance from ALL points of view.
But, the point of this entry wasn't to make everyone depressed about distance. It's to make you all remember that feeling you get when you see that person again. It makes you realize that as much as being away from someone you love sucks, it brings you closer in a way. Love grows through it and explodes at that one point you see them again.
That's distance.
As you may have noticed, there is no quote for this entry for a very good reason. The topic is distance.
I searched every credible quote website I know of to find a quote for this and none of them fit because distance is something that everyone views or experiences differently. An army wife is going to experience a different sort of distance than a parent whose child has left for college. But in the end, it's still distance.
As much as I may not like it, distance plays a very big role in my life and to be honest, I can be quite resentful against it. But overall, who isn't? Distance is never a word anyone wants to hear. It means being away from someone or a whole group of someones for a period of time; It means not seeing someone on an every day, every week, and sometimes every month basis; It means expensive plane tickets and road trips that can not always be afforded; It means loneliness and ache for that person; It means worry when you can't always hear from that person; Distance is....well it's distance and it's something everyone experiences at least once n their life.
As a college student, I'm distant from all of my family, some friends, and my boyfriend. Phone calls, texts, mail, Internet, webcam, and occasional visits are what keep us in touch. Somedays it's hell. The miss becomes a lot when you're going through a hard time or some everyday thing reminds me of a certain someone. It can be hard.
But, what gets me through it is that one feeling you get when you first see that person again. I LOVE that feeling and as much as I hate distance, that feeling makes it seem minuscule the whole time I'm in the prescence of a friend, or family member, or my boyfriend. The longer the wait, the greater the feeling.
When I was an army girlfriend and hadn't seen my ex for months at a time, those two week intervals were what made my world turn. It's such a great feeling especially after you spend months worrying and aching. I have a lot of military associated friends and family who can relate to this.
Distance is hard. In relationships and friendships, sometimes it can result in the end of it. In families, it can mean a complete loss of touch. Distance causes pain and anger. It can cause depression and sadness. It's hardest when the one thing in the world you want is to see someone but you know you can't. This is distance from ALL points of view.
But, the point of this entry wasn't to make everyone depressed about distance. It's to make you all remember that feeling you get when you see that person again. It makes you realize that as much as being away from someone you love sucks, it brings you closer in a way. Love grows through it and explodes at that one point you see them again.
That's distance.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
From 19 to 20, From Melissa to Lissa, A Summer of Growing Up
"We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves." ~May Lamberton Becker
In two days, my summer is over and my sophomore year of college begins. It's weird. A year ago, I was scared being a freshman in college would never happen now, I'm a sophomore and life as an adult is seeming to kick in real fast. I figured I needed to write this blog now because within these next two days I'm going to be too preoccupied with packing and saying temporary goodbyes.
It's weird how much you can learn in a summer. I know I did. It's weird to take in the last three and a half months and see where I am now. I can truly say that I took away a lot from this summer. I lost and I gained and I lived. And really, that's the best way I could have spent my summer. The lessons I've learned and the experiences I've had will all go back with me to Evansville. My time is Foley, MO was definitely well spent.
Four months ago, my neice most likely didn't know who I was. My sister knew I was her sister of course but she didn't know ME, nor did I really know HER. That was something I always hated. It was always a fear that my neice was going to grow up, not knowing who I was. I was never meant to be the distant aunt. I was never meant to be a distant anything. I like giving everyone in my family a part in my life and I like to be a part of theirs. Before this summer, I was distant, now I'm a part.
Kelli and Bob let me live with them for the summer because I needed a place to go. A place to call home for a summer. I'll admit, at the beginning of the summer, I felt so out of place and like a burden on them. Then my mom and brother left and I was lost. It wasn't easy at first, but you never learn from easy things. I came with the intention of getting my driver's license. That didn't happen which was a little discouraging at first, but I've got plan for when I go back to get it.
I'm not leaving with a driver's license, but I'm leaving with something better:
A sister who's favorite color is pink; who dances no matter how crazy she looks; who bleeds red (Cardinals!); who can crack me up and keep me laughing for hours; who is always there for late night chats; who loves her family more than anything; who is more like me than I ever would have thought.
A neice who is the most perfect little girl I have ever met; who is smarter than any 3 year old; loves Dora the Explorer; can never be parted from her red "manket"; loves kisses and hugs; can swing for hours; dances to party in the usa like it was written just for her; loves to be read a book every night; thinks sticking her butt in the sprinkler is the funniest thing in the world; has definitely stolen my heart this summer.
A brother in law who loves his fishing; thinks shotgunning a beer makes him a badass (lol); provides for his family the best he can; can never miss The Deadliest Catch and if he's watching it, you better shut up; believes in great first impressions; who is definitely the big brother I always thought I would have.
A nephew who is completely hilarious; who has such a gentle heart even if he doesn't show it under his preteenagehood manly exterior; loves to play video games but loves it more when you play with him; is pretty darn smart; is going to grow up to be a pretty awesome guy and is the best nephew I could have.
In part from just learning about my family, I learned about myself as well. I learned that:
~being yourself is the best possible way to have more true friends.
~my friends in high school gave me some really good memories but they have moved on and so have I and that's how life intended. They'll always be there for that small chat and reminiscing though.
~the only person you can truly rely on is yourself.
~that no matter how many mistakes anyone in my family has made, they can still come back from it and show you they can be a changed person.
~little brothers never stay little brothers. They get buff and grow taller and become big little brothers. =P
~Family is family and they will always be there when you need them.
~life is short so live it right.
That's only a few things...I could write forever and ever and think of so much stuff I've learned this summer.
I'm going back to school 20 years old and a new perspective on life. I've become Aunt Lissa to beautiful little girl and Lis to a totally awesome sister I'm happy I got to know. That is the best thing that could have happened in a summer.
In two days, my summer is over and my sophomore year of college begins. It's weird. A year ago, I was scared being a freshman in college would never happen now, I'm a sophomore and life as an adult is seeming to kick in real fast. I figured I needed to write this blog now because within these next two days I'm going to be too preoccupied with packing and saying temporary goodbyes.
It's weird how much you can learn in a summer. I know I did. It's weird to take in the last three and a half months and see where I am now. I can truly say that I took away a lot from this summer. I lost and I gained and I lived. And really, that's the best way I could have spent my summer. The lessons I've learned and the experiences I've had will all go back with me to Evansville. My time is Foley, MO was definitely well spent.
Four months ago, my neice most likely didn't know who I was. My sister knew I was her sister of course but she didn't know ME, nor did I really know HER. That was something I always hated. It was always a fear that my neice was going to grow up, not knowing who I was. I was never meant to be the distant aunt. I was never meant to be a distant anything. I like giving everyone in my family a part in my life and I like to be a part of theirs. Before this summer, I was distant, now I'm a part.
Kelli and Bob let me live with them for the summer because I needed a place to go. A place to call home for a summer. I'll admit, at the beginning of the summer, I felt so out of place and like a burden on them. Then my mom and brother left and I was lost. It wasn't easy at first, but you never learn from easy things. I came with the intention of getting my driver's license. That didn't happen which was a little discouraging at first, but I've got plan for when I go back to get it.
I'm not leaving with a driver's license, but I'm leaving with something better:
A sister who's favorite color is pink; who dances no matter how crazy she looks; who bleeds red (Cardinals!); who can crack me up and keep me laughing for hours; who is always there for late night chats; who loves her family more than anything; who is more like me than I ever would have thought.
A neice who is the most perfect little girl I have ever met; who is smarter than any 3 year old; loves Dora the Explorer; can never be parted from her red "manket"; loves kisses and hugs; can swing for hours; dances to party in the usa like it was written just for her; loves to be read a book every night; thinks sticking her butt in the sprinkler is the funniest thing in the world; has definitely stolen my heart this summer.
A brother in law who loves his fishing; thinks shotgunning a beer makes him a badass (lol); provides for his family the best he can; can never miss The Deadliest Catch and if he's watching it, you better shut up; believes in great first impressions; who is definitely the big brother I always thought I would have.
A nephew who is completely hilarious; who has such a gentle heart even if he doesn't show it under his preteenagehood manly exterior; loves to play video games but loves it more when you play with him; is pretty darn smart; is going to grow up to be a pretty awesome guy and is the best nephew I could have.
In part from just learning about my family, I learned about myself as well. I learned that:
~being yourself is the best possible way to have more true friends.
~my friends in high school gave me some really good memories but they have moved on and so have I and that's how life intended. They'll always be there for that small chat and reminiscing though.
~the only person you can truly rely on is yourself.
~that no matter how many mistakes anyone in my family has made, they can still come back from it and show you they can be a changed person.
~little brothers never stay little brothers. They get buff and grow taller and become big little brothers. =P
~Family is family and they will always be there when you need them.
~life is short so live it right.
That's only a few things...I could write forever and ever and think of so much stuff I've learned this summer.
I'm going back to school 20 years old and a new perspective on life. I've become Aunt Lissa to beautiful little girl and Lis to a totally awesome sister I'm happy I got to know. That is the best thing that could have happened in a summer.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Wo"man" Up!
"You were only given this life because you were strong enough to live it." ~Unknown
I really wish I knew who said that quote because in my daily life, I'm always refering back to it. Because if you really think about it, it's true.
Here I am in this stupid funk because of one very minuscule thing: other people. When have I ever let other people start running my life? I used to be an independent, who cares what you say kind of girl. Now it seems like every little thing someone else says about me or does to me sends me into a funk that has me wrapped in it's fury. What do I think of that? BLAH.
I come from a family of strong women who struggled against alcoholic men for year after year after year. My grandma was in the military for awhile until she started having kids. Then after years of abuse she was strong enough to leave and take her four kids with her and move on. THAT blood is running through my veins.
I come from a family where all my uncles and both my grandpas were in the military for years. Both of my grandpas fought in wars. They have seen and dealt with things unimaginable to a lot of people. THAT blood is running through my veins.
I, myself, went through two years with boot camp, AIT, and a deployment. I have lived 19 years with an alcoholic father. I have went through three unexpected family deaths and two unexpected friend's deaths. I have pushed myself into college when I thought it was impossible and I have managed to keep myself enrolled and financially afloat. THAT is the blood in my veins.
That's proof of the quote. I was given this ONE life because I am strong enough to live it. There is strength running in my veins and there is strength that I have built with experiences that I hve been through. If I have survived all of that, then nothing is impossible. NOTHING can take me down.
There is no fake person, long distance relationship, or ANYTHING that can ruin the strength that my family has bulit up for me and that I have built up for myself.
I was given this life to live it, not to sit back and cry because someone screwed me over. I was given this life to be the confident, talented woman I am and nothing should hold me back from that nothing.
It's time for me to wo"man" up because that is what I was raised to do, it's what is in my blood to do, and it is what I have done so many times before. So nothing, should bring me down. I was raised a fighter and I'm not going to let that stop now.
(Thanks Ash. I love you dearly.)
I really wish I knew who said that quote because in my daily life, I'm always refering back to it. Because if you really think about it, it's true.
Here I am in this stupid funk because of one very minuscule thing: other people. When have I ever let other people start running my life? I used to be an independent, who cares what you say kind of girl. Now it seems like every little thing someone else says about me or does to me sends me into a funk that has me wrapped in it's fury. What do I think of that? BLAH.
I come from a family of strong women who struggled against alcoholic men for year after year after year. My grandma was in the military for awhile until she started having kids. Then after years of abuse she was strong enough to leave and take her four kids with her and move on. THAT blood is running through my veins.
I come from a family where all my uncles and both my grandpas were in the military for years. Both of my grandpas fought in wars. They have seen and dealt with things unimaginable to a lot of people. THAT blood is running through my veins.
I, myself, went through two years with boot camp, AIT, and a deployment. I have lived 19 years with an alcoholic father. I have went through three unexpected family deaths and two unexpected friend's deaths. I have pushed myself into college when I thought it was impossible and I have managed to keep myself enrolled and financially afloat. THAT is the blood in my veins.
That's proof of the quote. I was given this ONE life because I am strong enough to live it. There is strength running in my veins and there is strength that I have built with experiences that I hve been through. If I have survived all of that, then nothing is impossible. NOTHING can take me down.
There is no fake person, long distance relationship, or ANYTHING that can ruin the strength that my family has bulit up for me and that I have built up for myself.
I was given this life to live it, not to sit back and cry because someone screwed me over. I was given this life to be the confident, talented woman I am and nothing should hold me back from that nothing.
It's time for me to wo"man" up because that is what I was raised to do, it's what is in my blood to do, and it is what I have done so many times before. So nothing, should bring me down. I was raised a fighter and I'm not going to let that stop now.
(Thanks Ash. I love you dearly.)
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