"Money often costs too much."~Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love this quote for the simple fact that it's so true. Money does cost too much: too much time, too much effort, too much stress, too much BLAH.
I can't stand it.
All of my life I watched my parents struggle with money. My dad was always getting laid off and my mom was just a waitress. Christmas and birthdays weren't extravagent. We lived in a two bedroom apartment in a not so great suburb of Saint Louis. But we made use with what we had. My brother and I never complained because we didn't know anything else. We were taught to be grateful for what we had and I am very grateful. I had a home and food to eat. I have a great family, good friends, and I'm in love and loved by my best friend. I count all these blessings.
But with the expenses of the apartment coming up it makes you think how hard you have it compared to others. My parents couldn't buy me a car for graduation. I can't even buy me a car. I can't wear the brands I want or decorate the apartment exactly how I would like. I'm going to be in debt for most of my life because nowadays you need an education to be anything.
It makes you bitter when you watch people around you buying houses and cars and having children and affording weddings. I barely afford my phone bill. but that's life.
I can sit here and say I wish I had it easier but I don't and that's how it is. Some people get lucky. I'm one of those people who was born to work and struggle for everything I have. And that's what I've done. Has it been easy? No. Do I get bitter because of it? Yes. But that's how it is and I can only change it myself and be the hard worker I am.
This ties into my weight issue. I just gotta do it instead of feeling bitter. That's how it is.
On a separate note, I'm considering taking a double major in Psychology. I've always loved it. I want to specialize in Developmental Psychology so it will let me work with kids which I love. This gives me a guarenteed outlet for a job. This career field is more secure than writing. So I set up a meeting with my advisor and we'll see what happens. I'm actually fairly excited about it.
I guess the main thought behind this blog is I just want to make the most of my life. I want to do well and give my children more than I had. I want to repay my mom for everything. I want to afford good presents for the people I love. I want to be able to make the life I want and the one I'm most happiest with. I want my husband to come home everyday to a home he can be proud of. A home I can be proud of . That's all I want in life: to look back on what I have and say "I earned this. I worked my rear end off for this and isn't it amazing?"
I grew up with nothing, i didn't even have food some days... I think everyone has their reasoning for things they choose in life. Ever since I was I child, I promised myself I would do whatever was necessary to take care of my children and ensure they never lived the life I had. I didn't get pregnant on purpose so soon but I knew that as soon as I found out, we had to make things work. Before Caylee came it was awful. Rob's pay just wasn't enough and I couldn't even find a job... didn't have the means to go to school at the time... Honestly- sometimes I feel guilty because it's solely Rob who supports us. We are doing fine now money wise, but it's not without sacrifice and you know that more than anyone... and I can say its DEFINITELY not enough for what we go through. If Rob wasn't in the army though, I honestly don't know how we would be surviving right now. I think every American is just freaking out over things like this. It's important to take a step back, budget, and focus on one small goal at a time. Stay away from credit cards and large bills until you can save up... if you can put down a large some of money [at least 2 thousand] you can more then likely can financed to get a car... put don't do anything to put yourself in debt... I love you and you will do FINE!! Life isn't easy. Rob and I have worked our asses off and gone through MANY curves in the rollercoaster to be where we are, and at random places we get thrown for a loop [like with the AC] and even with his steady job and our good credit, they DENIED US CUZ WE OWN A HOME! I was like WHAT?! but anyway... excuse my book and my ramblings- you know how I get. Stop being down on yourself and as hard as it is, focus on school and the positive- MICHAEL WILL BE THERE SOON AND ALL THE FUN OF LIFE WILL HIT YOU FULL FORCE lol
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